"I don't care about the sky" 😂 what a liar. Beautiful writing, only you could make a story about sitting on a plane instead of watching the eclipse interesting!
I can relate: “I think I was born with the sense that the party is always raging in some other house, that the story is unfurling while I’m stuck in a closet.” But I’ve also made the opposite mistake: feeling that wherever I'm living is the only place to be. Boulder! Why live anywhere else? New York! Why live anywhere else? Brooklyn! So much better than Manhattan! Etc. I don’t feel that way about Maplewood, NJ, but it’s fine for a bit.
I think I learned early to be numb to what I was missing, to what I couldn't have. If I was missing the party, better to turn off the part of me that would yearn for it, tummy twisted for the sense of me not mattering. When I was 13, restless on a Friday night, I couldn't find anyone to do anything . . . no one seemed to be home. I found out later that everyone, including my best friend, Diane, had been at Barb's sleepover party that I wasn't invited to. Well, whatever. It was over by then. But I couldn't get over wondering. Why didn't she invite me? Diane said Barb stood in her kitchen that night and said she should have invited me. Why everyone but me? It went clunk and joined hands with the other times that what I felt, what I thought, what I wanted, didn't matter - like Sweater Day, when Tommy had agreed to bring his sweater for me, and after I went to school with the blouse that anticipated it, he forgot it, and I was conspicuous in a sweater-less white blouse all day. But that day, after the party I didn't attend, I went to school, set my face to the future, and I'm sure, got an A in something.
Loved this! I missed out on 9/11 attacks. I was hiking on Mt. Rainier on didn't hear a word until two days later. I have tried writing about that. For a very long time. :)
I live in the UK and our last total eclipse was in 1999. My most vivid memory of that day is standing in a dog turd in bare feet, so make of that what you will. You can attend the once-in-a-lifetime experience and still have a literally-shite time.
"I don't care about the sky" 😂 what a liar. Beautiful writing, only you could make a story about sitting on a plane instead of watching the eclipse interesting!
Your essay delighted me, tickled me, and warmed me up with empathy and twinship.
Thanks, Diana! :-)
I can relate: “I think I was born with the sense that the party is always raging in some other house, that the story is unfurling while I’m stuck in a closet.” But I’ve also made the opposite mistake: feeling that wherever I'm living is the only place to be. Boulder! Why live anywhere else? New York! Why live anywhere else? Brooklyn! So much better than Manhattan! Etc. I don’t feel that way about Maplewood, NJ, but it’s fine for a bit.
So grateful I did not "miss out" on reading this fabulous piece.
Your missing out experience was as meaningful as our watch party. (we did miss you)
I think I learned early to be numb to what I was missing, to what I couldn't have. If I was missing the party, better to turn off the part of me that would yearn for it, tummy twisted for the sense of me not mattering. When I was 13, restless on a Friday night, I couldn't find anyone to do anything . . . no one seemed to be home. I found out later that everyone, including my best friend, Diane, had been at Barb's sleepover party that I wasn't invited to. Well, whatever. It was over by then. But I couldn't get over wondering. Why didn't she invite me? Diane said Barb stood in her kitchen that night and said she should have invited me. Why everyone but me? It went clunk and joined hands with the other times that what I felt, what I thought, what I wanted, didn't matter - like Sweater Day, when Tommy had agreed to bring his sweater for me, and after I went to school with the blouse that anticipated it, he forgot it, and I was conspicuous in a sweater-less white blouse all day. But that day, after the party I didn't attend, I went to school, set my face to the future, and I'm sure, got an A in something.
Loved this! I missed out on 9/11 attacks. I was hiking on Mt. Rainier on didn't hear a word until two days later. I have tried writing about that. For a very long time. :)
This is great, Diana.
So beautifully written, as always!
I live in the UK and our last total eclipse was in 1999. My most vivid memory of that day is standing in a dog turd in bare feet, so make of that what you will. You can attend the once-in-a-lifetime experience and still have a literally-shite time.
It's a matter a perspective. One could say we miss something every day or could gain something at any moment. Thanks for the read!
Lovely piece!
“How do you write about an event you weren’t present for?”
I struggled with that one in my memoir and like the solution you mention here a lot.