Diana, this really resonates with me. It's such a wonderful sentiment for these times of distrust and creating unnecessary boundaries--physical and emotional. If only we could all travel more and connect like this with people in other countries/cultures... cry and laugh together.
I loved this piece. You are such an empathetic person who gives of herself to others; I've experienced that myself when you counseled me on my writing. I love your snarky comment about Eleanor Roosevelt; I didn't know she said that, but shame on her. Talking about people, with people, can certainly stray into malicious gossip, but often, it's just what you said: dealing directly with someone else's most pressing personal issues, helping them to analyze, process, and come to terms with whatever, or whoever is most hard for them at that moment.
I also love that you called out the overwhelming contemporary preoccupation in the US with "maintaining boundaries." I don't know where and why this preoccupation first appeared, but I now see it everywhere around me, including in my own family. Middle-class people seem obsessed about not letting anyone in and not letting any of themselves seep out. We have developed an entire legal, philosophical, and therapeutic subculture devoted to condemning and stamping out the hyped-up threat of "oversharing." No wonder this is such a lonely and unhappy country.
You are one of an increasingly rare breed of Americans who truly care, are truly curious, and truly sensitive to the suffering of others. And who is not afraid to ask and write about those themes.
thank you! i love your writing - i often share your posts with my daughter, who is a freshman at sarah lawrence and studying creative writing. we are fans. :)
I love this essay. I also think there may be another one about having boundaries or learning when to create them? Because in general woman are taught to be there for everyone and not be selfish but that doesn’t work either. But I love the humanism and specifics of this essay.
I, too, have decided that Eleanor Roosevelt quote is shit. There is something almost freeing about confiding in a person who you will probably never see again, who will never know your family or coworkers. What a gift that people sense your welcoming presence!
Your line about the “talk to a therapist” comment hit me hard. After my second baby was born, the first couple months were pretty dark and hard. She cried a lot and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I asked a good friend of mine to come over (she had offered this while I was pregnant) and just be with me and maybe hold the baby for a bit. She kept deflecting and offering to meet me for lunch, and then asked if I had yet talked to my therapist. All I wanted was her to be there with me. She finally did come over, but I never asked again.
I love this so much, Diana! And it's so you! Remember all the questions we used to ask all those people in San Miguel? Like we were conducting an interview? I love how that woman called you Larry King. But it's because people fascinate us (well, up to a point!) Now I want to know all about your upcoming writing workshop to Tuscany next fall. I miss you! xo
Before I met you, I never knew anyone who was a more intense listener than I was! There is obviously a dark side to it, and thank god we had each other all those times we got trapped because we laughed so hard. I miss you terribly, by the way.
Brilliant.
Whenever I edit one of these, I'm reading it through your eyes.
Love this, and it mirrors exactly my experience of you. Lovely to read.
You are so sweet. Can’t wait to see you soon!
This is so great. I'm weirdly jealous of these crying strangers because they get to hang out with you. I miss you! (this is not me being clingy)
Obviously YOU’RE allowed to cling to your heart’s content.
hahaha I think you say this because you know I have a horror of clinging
Diana, this really resonates with me. It's such a wonderful sentiment for these times of distrust and creating unnecessary boundaries--physical and emotional. If only we could all travel more and connect like this with people in other countries/cultures... cry and laugh together.
Now more than ever, right? What else is there? Just people and their hearts. xx
I loved this piece. You are such an empathetic person who gives of herself to others; I've experienced that myself when you counseled me on my writing. I love your snarky comment about Eleanor Roosevelt; I didn't know she said that, but shame on her. Talking about people, with people, can certainly stray into malicious gossip, but often, it's just what you said: dealing directly with someone else's most pressing personal issues, helping them to analyze, process, and come to terms with whatever, or whoever is most hard for them at that moment.
I also love that you called out the overwhelming contemporary preoccupation in the US with "maintaining boundaries." I don't know where and why this preoccupation first appeared, but I now see it everywhere around me, including in my own family. Middle-class people seem obsessed about not letting anyone in and not letting any of themselves seep out. We have developed an entire legal, philosophical, and therapeutic subculture devoted to condemning and stamping out the hyped-up threat of "oversharing." No wonder this is such a lonely and unhappy country.
You are one of an increasingly rare breed of Americans who truly care, are truly curious, and truly sensitive to the suffering of others. And who is not afraid to ask and write about those themes.
Good for you.
Thank you so much. And I agree: We're heading in the wrong direction with this boundary obsession.
Oh I love this so, so much and connect to it deeply. Thank you so much for these beautiful words and for making me feel seen.
Jenna! Thank you. xx
Beautiful essay. Thank you.
Oh, gosh, thank you, dear Karen!
thank you! i love your writing - i often share your posts with my daughter, who is a freshman at sarah lawrence and studying creative writing. we are fans. :)
Oh, that makes me so happy! ❤️
"In Mexico, I learned so much about helping. Americans are trained to fear Mexico, but I’d rather have a problem there than here."
I 100,000% agree!!!!
Beautiful essay diana!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I love this essay. I also think there may be another one about having boundaries or learning when to create them? Because in general woman are taught to be there for everyone and not be selfish but that doesn’t work either. But I love the humanism and specifics of this essay.
Thank you, Luke! Yes, the screed against boundaries is a bit tongue-in-cheek. :)
And a crying man might be rare and a complicated case. The stereotype is that he would be drunk.
In my experience, plenty of men know the value of a good cry! :)
This was such a great time to read this essay. I long for connection more than ever these days. Thx.
Let’s go to dinner. I long for connection with you! Emailing you now…
Sometimes I feel like crying to you lol. You're such a good listener. ❤
Oh. And my biggest fear ever, is people falling in front of me and not knowing what to do.
Love you. If someone falls, use your cell phone. 😂
I, too, have decided that Eleanor Roosevelt quote is shit. There is something almost freeing about confiding in a person who you will probably never see again, who will never know your family or coworkers. What a gift that people sense your welcoming presence!
Your line about the “talk to a therapist” comment hit me hard. After my second baby was born, the first couple months were pretty dark and hard. She cried a lot and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I asked a good friend of mine to come over (she had offered this while I was pregnant) and just be with me and maybe hold the baby for a bit. She kept deflecting and offering to meet me for lunch, and then asked if I had yet talked to my therapist. All I wanted was her to be there with me. She finally did come over, but I never asked again.
There was job opening that involved “holding the baby” and I wasn’t alerted???
I love this so much, Diana! And it's so you! Remember all the questions we used to ask all those people in San Miguel? Like we were conducting an interview? I love how that woman called you Larry King. But it's because people fascinate us (well, up to a point!) Now I want to know all about your upcoming writing workshop to Tuscany next fall. I miss you! xo
Before I met you, I never knew anyone who was a more intense listener than I was! There is obviously a dark side to it, and thank god we had each other all those times we got trapped because we laughed so hard. I miss you terribly, by the way.
This is a brilliant essay and heart-warming.
Oh, thank you, Janet!
To be called “Larry King” — what a fun compliment!
It was years ago and I still love the memory!
Greatly enjoyed!
The voice of the essay is so fine. Wonderful photos as well.
Oh, thank you!
Couldn’t agree more about Mexicans and people so much kinder.