So many interesting insights, Diana! I particularly loved: "I wonder if invisibility is the primal wound of ghost-seers. Aren’t adults who “see” the invisible externalizing their fear of being invisible? A ghost encounter is a comfort: We’re not so invisible after all."
Agh! The invitation to lunch and then . . . when I was 21, my husband was taking me out to dinner to celebrate. We had been living separately and leaning in to getting back together. I got so ready for this "date," anticipating everything. He called me a half hour before he was to pick me up and told me he was going to Boston with a buddy instead. I loved how you described your reaction, the pushing away the plate, removing the napkin, giving up wanting.
I recall my first love who gave me an engagement ring, only to ghost me after he met the mother of his kids to be, with them divorcing when their children were 1 & 3 years old. He invited me out to lunch & claimed to still love me & for us to pick up where we left off. I put my napkin on the table, pushed the plate away & told him that he had broken my heart & that, while I loved him the thought of him touching me was nauseating. I also returned his ring & promptly drove my bug from PA. to OR to live a good life, which I have done. It was nice to not feel invisible anymore.
Fascinating Diana! I've never thought of it this way before. I guess no matter the reason, when we're young and have our hearts broken we're so raw and defenseless like you said. We had no idea we should never have opened our hearts that much because we didn't understand what might happen to them. Sadly, we figure it out as we get older, with less and less of an open heart with every new person we meet.
i love your writing! i love the descriptions that situate the reader in time and space, i love your stream of consciousness style that allows the reader to so effortlessly flow right along, and i especially love your self-reflection. i'm brand new to substack and thrilled to have found you so soon! with love and admiration, your newest fan.
So many interesting insights, Diana! I particularly loved: "I wonder if invisibility is the primal wound of ghost-seers. Aren’t adults who “see” the invisible externalizing their fear of being invisible? A ghost encounter is a comfort: We’re not so invisible after all."
Thank you, dear Claire! I was worried it sounded a little judge-y. The truth is, I love ghost-seers. :)
Ah, Pasta Jay's--all you can eat on Mondays. We'll always have Boulder, though not at the same time. Another great piece, Diana.
I don’t remember all you can eat Monday, but that is gross and fitting.
The deal was for the pasta marinara only.
Perfect.
Agh! The invitation to lunch and then . . . when I was 21, my husband was taking me out to dinner to celebrate. We had been living separately and leaning in to getting back together. I got so ready for this "date," anticipating everything. He called me a half hour before he was to pick me up and told me he was going to Boston with a buddy instead. I loved how you described your reaction, the pushing away the plate, removing the napkin, giving up wanting.
Thank you, dear Judy!
Beautifully written!
I recall my first love who gave me an engagement ring, only to ghost me after he met the mother of his kids to be, with them divorcing when their children were 1 & 3 years old. He invited me out to lunch & claimed to still love me & for us to pick up where we left off. I put my napkin on the table, pushed the plate away & told him that he had broken my heart & that, while I loved him the thought of him touching me was nauseating. I also returned his ring & promptly drove my bug from PA. to OR to live a good life, which I have done. It was nice to not feel invisible anymore.
Fabulous power move! “The thought of you touching me is nauseating.” Yessss!
"Childhood, then, is one long hallucination." So true.
Everything you write is just so gorgeous 💕
This made my day.
I love this piece! Mexico is so surreal. In hindsight having a 21-23 year old brain there made it endlessly more so. 😂
I thought of you while writing that. The broom in Mexico City.
😂😂😂 that dream job came to my mind, too.
Fascinating Diana! I've never thought of it this way before. I guess no matter the reason, when we're young and have our hearts broken we're so raw and defenseless like you said. We had no idea we should never have opened our hearts that much because we didn't understand what might happen to them. Sadly, we figure it out as we get older, with less and less of an open heart with every new person we meet.
Exactly! It’s both sad and necessary.
i love your writing! i love the descriptions that situate the reader in time and space, i love your stream of consciousness style that allows the reader to so effortlessly flow right along, and i especially love your self-reflection. i'm brand new to substack and thrilled to have found you so soon! with love and admiration, your newest fan.
Oh, hi! So glad you're here. Thanks for the kind words. :)